Yesmaxing in a work context (I’ve decided) means optimising your chances of getting a yes, by framing your ask the right way. This post is about influence. It’s not about making wild demands of your company (which I know you wouldn’t do ❤️🔥).
Quick story
In 2017, a project I led for Google Play got nominated for seven Cannes Lions. I'd never been nominated before (and haven't been since) so I was desperate to go.
Getting individual trips funded (as a pretty average-performing L5) wasn’t the norm at Google, but my boss at the time (legend) coached me on how to pitch it.
Who are the decision makers?
(a) His boss (aka AU Marketing Head)
(b) Her boss (aka APAC Marketing Head)What would make this a win for them?
(a) AU Marketing Head ✅ My success was team success was her success too. She should be on stage picking up those awards too. Pitch it as you both go on the trip together.(b) APAC Marketing Head ✅ Representing APAC’s work on a global stage to industry and Google global leaders, planting the seed for future funding, doing a share-back to inspire other APAC teams to push creative and innovative work.
My default would’ve been to say: 🚫 "This will mean so much to me, it’s great for my career and visibility… the project nearly killed me, I led us through so many roadblocks to get it live, it hit targets, maybe I could pay half of it myself…. ”
“Nobody does anything unless they see what's in it for them” — Chris Voss
I find this quote reductive and don’t fully agree. But in context (from Never Split The Difference by FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss) it drills home a key principle. The idea that in a negotiation, a win-win isn't actually about meeting in the middle (or “splitting the difference”). It’s about understanding the other person’s perspective, motivations, needs and using that understanding to influence them.
Voss calls it ‘tactical empathy’. It sounds a bit manipulative, but empathy is such a sick muscle to build in communication.
“It's not what you say, it's what the other person hears”
Communication happens on the receiver's side. It's not what you say, it's what they hear. Framing it around the benefit to them first helps their mind stay open to your ask. Here’s how that looks for some common work use-cases.
You want your company to pay for a course
Default:
🚫 “There’s a course I really want to take, can I expense it?”
Win-win framing:
✅ “I know we're trying to lift our campaign performance and our team’s getting feedback we need to be more strategic. Here's a strategy course that comes recommended. Can we talk about what it would take for the company to cover the cost? The frameworks I share back with the team should help our next plan cycle”.
You want to work on different projects
Default:
🚫 “I’m not feeling excited by my projects. I’d love to work on something more interesting.”
Win-win framing:
✅ "I've been thinking a lot about our 2025 plan and where I can add most value. I've noticed the checkout flow keeps coming up in our retros as a pain point. I'd love to take that on - it aligns with the UX skills we talked about in my last career 1:1 that I wanted to develop. I love obsessing over that kind of problem-solving project and I know I can make it big for our team. Is that something you're open to talking about?”
You’re trying to get another team to do something
Default:
🚫 “My team needs this done by end of month, can your team prioritise it?”
Win-win framing:
✅ "I know your team’s focused on Brand Loyalty. We’re fixing a payment bug that’s causing ~30% of online complaints. If your team can revamp the landing page copy by EOW, we should be able to cut complaints and it’ll help your Brand goal. Then we can both claim the victory on our performance reviews 😛"
You've been shadow promoted
AKA given more responsibility without the title or compensation (fwiw I think this practice sucks when companies do it intentionally, but have also seen it happen fairly unintentionally too).
Default:
🚫 “This is unfair…”
Win-win framing:
✅ “I'm grateful I'm being recognised by leadership and being trusted with more responsibility. I’ve been happy to step up. I’m committed, I want to keep delivering at this level. To make that sustainable I want to talk about formalizing this with the right title and compensation. Having the ‘Senior’ title makes it easier for me to lead our clients. It's also something that's important to me on a personal career level.
How do you find the win-win?
There's probably a fancy framework for this, but I always found the best way was to get my notebook, go sit somewhere that wasn't my desk, think about the other person, then ask myself these. Talking to people close to them helps too.
What would make this easy for them to say yes to?
What would make this good for them?
What would make it hard?
Lead with the good. Be ready to address the bad.
Good luck
Soph ✌🏼
PS - Had I been pitching my Cannes trip in 2025, there’s no way it would’ve been approved. Reading the room, I wouldn’t even have asked. Expense policies have changed. It was a privilege to work at a company that could say yes to something like that. Every situation has its own constraints — no amount of framing guarantees a win. But it usually gives you a better shot.
PPS - The end of the story was… the trip got approved, the campaign won a bunch of Lions, but I wasn't there to collect them on stage. I ended up deciding not to go on the trip and had a baby instead. Arguably, a better kind of prize.
