Good practical framework and the ceiling on lateral conflict resolution is real.
The interpersonal techniques buy goodwill and surface hidden constraints, but they won’t close a structural gap.
The more diagnostic question behind Step 1 is whether the competing priorities were ever reconciled at the level above: most cross-functional friction is the result of two teams optimizing for different things because nobody with oversight of both ever named the trade-off.
The interpersonal reset matters, but the real fix usually requires someone one level up to make an uncomfortable choice about what actually takes precedence.
Until that happens, the same conflict will keep reemerging.
I am at the start of a huge new contract that includes an immense amount of work in the first two years. As a result I’m working with so many groups and feel like I’m dragging everyone along by their fingernails.
Someone i work with regularly was recently told by their boss that they’re difficult to work with. They asked if I felt that way and I admitted “yes, you can be but I know it’s because of the constraints put on you by your management.” Meeting him halfway by recognizing his challenges took the sting out of what was a difficult truth to share. It didn’t change the fact that he pisses me off though and I didn’t give in that point.
Great piece and hits on something many of us deal with even if we can’t necessarily verbalize it so well.
10/10 as always!! And something that gets easier with practise. I've also found when I reach for the 3rd alternative (usually something similar, how can I up skill XYZ so they can do it), it magically becomes less important LOL, and my initial suggestion is the default after that. Maybe a win/win?...
This is gold!! (And often what Gen Z isn’t taught directly, because everyone “just learns” how to deal with this on their own.) appreciate the little hacks to make cross-functional disagreement less scary and more productive
so true isabel - a lot of this stuff happens privately in 1:1 conversations so you don't actually get to learn by osmosis and pick up how to approach tricky situations.
haha this is actually how I approach my romantic relationships but honestly, this is perfectly fitting for stakeholders because at the end of the day we are on the same side trying to get over the other side.
Getting teams together and producing fantastic work cross-functionally has been my mission for more than a year now. I think it illustrates how much it actually takes to really achieve and sustain that. I was happy to read this, because it's so relatable and also reassuring - like you saying - you're doing this right. And yeah, it really doesn't take one successful empathic conversation to resolve; it takes consistent systemic work and pushing even when you just. Can't :)
Thank you for these tips. 10/10 will use.
Thanks Jane, so glad it could help
Love this mindset shift. One that I’ve used in my personal relationships and should be translated over!
So true re personal relationships. i swear I've learnt many of many most useful partner and parenting techniques from leadership courses hah
Good practical framework and the ceiling on lateral conflict resolution is real.
The interpersonal techniques buy goodwill and surface hidden constraints, but they won’t close a structural gap.
The more diagnostic question behind Step 1 is whether the competing priorities were ever reconciled at the level above: most cross-functional friction is the result of two teams optimizing for different things because nobody with oversight of both ever named the trade-off.
The interpersonal reset matters, but the real fix usually requires someone one level up to make an uncomfortable choice about what actually takes precedence.
Until that happens, the same conflict will keep reemerging.
This is such a great build. Thank you Luca.
I am at the start of a huge new contract that includes an immense amount of work in the first two years. As a result I’m working with so many groups and feel like I’m dragging everyone along by their fingernails.
Someone i work with regularly was recently told by their boss that they’re difficult to work with. They asked if I felt that way and I admitted “yes, you can be but I know it’s because of the constraints put on you by your management.” Meeting him halfway by recognizing his challenges took the sting out of what was a difficult truth to share. It didn’t change the fact that he pisses me off though and I didn’t give in that point.
Great piece and hits on something many of us deal with even if we can’t necessarily verbalize it so well.
10/10 as always!! And something that gets easier with practise. I've also found when I reach for the 3rd alternative (usually something similar, how can I up skill XYZ so they can do it), it magically becomes less important LOL, and my initial suggestion is the default after that. Maybe a win/win?...
This is gold!! (And often what Gen Z isn’t taught directly, because everyone “just learns” how to deal with this on their own.) appreciate the little hacks to make cross-functional disagreement less scary and more productive
so true isabel - a lot of this stuff happens privately in 1:1 conversations so you don't actually get to learn by osmosis and pick up how to approach tricky situations.
haha this is actually how I approach my romantic relationships but honestly, this is perfectly fitting for stakeholders because at the end of the day we are on the same side trying to get over the other side.
Great read, as always Soph!
Getting teams together and producing fantastic work cross-functionally has been my mission for more than a year now. I think it illustrates how much it actually takes to really achieve and sustain that. I was happy to read this, because it's so relatable and also reassuring - like you saying - you're doing this right. And yeah, it really doesn't take one successful empathic conversation to resolve; it takes consistent systemic work and pushing even when you just. Can't :)